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I'm a 32 year old mother of 2 fantastic little boys, ages 5 and 10. I'm a retail lackey who dreams of running away to San Francisco where I'll live on my trust fund and take photographs of the city all day.

Currently Reading

  • Middlesex by Jeffrey Eugenides

Movies You Should Check Out

  • Little Miss Sunshine
  • The Good Shepherd

Rocking My iPod This Week

  • Eminem
  • Hinder
  • The Fray

Categorically Speaking...

Thursday, October 26, 2006


So I've tried to write this post for about 5 days now. It's been really hard. Instead, I've been taking the easy way out. Most people know that the music I post is usually directly correlated to things that are going on in my world or to things that I'm feeling. I'm guessing that even without my commentary that most people would assume where I was going with the last song knowing what happened about 2 weeks ago and how everyone felt about it, but I feel the need to say something.

To start, I understand why people are concerned. Given all that has happened over the past year with Tyson & I, it's completely understandable. That said. Please don't make me feel bad for taking him back. He is not just some random person that hurt me and left. He is my BEST FRIEND. I was devastated when he left. I was devastated while he was gone. I was devastated when he showed up seemingly out of the blue. But I'm not taking him back just because of my devastation. I'm not doing it just to make me feel better. My eyes are open.

When we met up, I told him what it was like for me to have him leave how he did. How it felt to not understand. And he apologized. He felt terrible for hurting me, even though he didn't know that he did until that moment. He promised that he would never hurt me again. And I believe him. We're building our relationship back again. And I need that. I need him.

So, I appreciate your concern for me. I really do. Please, please understand that. But please also understand where I'm coming from, too. There is a piece of my heart that stays with him. No matter what has happened, that piece has always stayed with him. It is a piece that I will never get back - we've shared too much, gone through too much, meant too much. I have forgiven him. I'm working through the hurt with his input.

And that is how I need it to be.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...


but okay...

i completely get why... its perfectly understandable...

have some lesbian arabic shellfish...