Your Resident Blogger

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I'm a 32 year old mother of 2 fantastic little boys, ages 5 and 10. I'm a retail lackey who dreams of running away to San Francisco where I'll live on my trust fund and take photographs of the city all day.

Currently Reading

  • Middlesex by Jeffrey Eugenides

Movies You Should Check Out

  • Little Miss Sunshine
  • The Good Shepherd

Rocking My iPod This Week

  • Eminem
  • Hinder
  • The Fray

Categorically Speaking...

Saturday, April 29, 2006

Because Ellii & I Totally Rock Your World

My wedding ceremony is written! So are my vows. And my ceremony programs are made and formatted and faboo. How does one accomplish this magnitude of stuff you ask? Because I had to work last night...and Ellii stayed up all night....and because we so totally rule. There will be rivers named after us. On every continent. Why? Because people will want to be us, but they can't. So they will worship at the the banks of River Jenellii while facing the general direction of Colorado & Montana. Then they will feel more specialer. So there.

In other faboolous Jen news...I got my shoes for the wedding ordered today. On SALE even! Woop! I rock. LOL They are the greatest shoes ever. So not even wedding-ish shoes! But I love that because it means that I can actually wear them again. Besides....what's not to love about shoes that have 4" heels and come from a store that sells children's sized Marilyn Manson shirts? Hehehe. Yes, I LOVE Hot Topic! And because I know you are wondering...I did order Hunter a faboolous Marilyn Manson shirt! My family will be so so pleased to see him in it when we go to California.

More New Exciting Jenbits

Your Taste in Music:

90's Alternative: Highest Influence
90's Pop: Highest Influence
90's R&B: Highest Influence
90's Rock: Highest Influence
Classic Rock: Highest Influence
Hair Bands: Highest Influence
Heavy Metal: Highest Influence
80's Alternative: High Influence
80's Pop: High Influence
80's Rock: High Influence
Adult Alternative: High Influence
Alternative Rock: High Influence
Gangsta Rap: High Influence
Old School Hip Hop: High Influence
80's R&B: Medium Influence
90's Hip Hop: Medium Influence
Punk: Medium Influence
R&B: Medium Influence
Ska: Medium Influence
Dance: Low Influence
Progressive Rock: Low Influence

Sunday, April 23, 2006

New Music! (Hips Don't Lie - Shakira)

Ladies up in here tonight
No fighting, no fighting
We got the refugees up in here
No fighting, no fighting

Shakira, Shakira

I never really knew that she could dance like this
She makes a man wants to speak Spanish
Como se llama, bonita, mi casa, su casa
Shakira, Shakira

Oh baby when you talk like that
You make a woman go mad
So be wise and keep on
Reading the signs of my body

And I'm on tonight
You know my hips don't lie
And I'm starting to feel it's right
All the attraction, the tension
Don't you see baby, this is perfection

Hey Girl, I can see your body moving
And it's driving me crazy
And I didn't have the slightest idea
Until I saw you dancing

And when you walk up on the dance floor
Nobody cannot ignore the way you move your body, girl
And everything so unexpected - the way you right and left it
So you can keep on shaking it

I never really knew that she could dance like this
She makes a man want to speak Spanish
Como se llama, bonita, mi casa, su casa
Shakira, Shakira

Oh baby when you talk like that
You make a woman go mad
So be wise and keep on
Reading the signs of my body

And I'm on tonight
You know my hips don't lie
And I am starting to feel you boy
Come on lets go, real slow
Don't you see baby asi es perfecto

Oh I know I am on tonight my hips don't lie
And I am starting to feel it's right
All the attraction, the tension
Don't you see baby, this is perfection
Shakira, Shakira

Oh boy, I can see your body moving
Half animal, half man
I don't, don't really know what I'm doing
But you seem to have a plan
My will and self restraint
Have come to fail now, fail now
See, I am doing what I can, but I can't so you know
That's a bit too hard to explain

Baila en la calle de noche
Baila en la calle de día

Baila en la calle de noche
Baila en la calle de día

I never really knew that she could dance like this
She makes a man want to speak Spanish
Como se llama, bonita, mi casa, su casa
Shakira, Shakira

Oh baby when you talk like that
You know you got me hypnotized
So be wise and keep on
Reading the signs of my body

Senorita, feel the conga, let me see you move like you come from Colombia

Mira en Barranquilla se baila así, say it!
Mira en Barranquilla se baila así

She's so sexy every man's fantasy a refugee like me back with the Fugees from a 3rd world country
I go back like when 'pac carried crates for Humpty Humpty
I need a whole club dizzy
Why the CIA wanna watch us?
Colombians and Haitians
I ain't guilty, it's a musical transaction
No more do we snatch ropes
Refugees run the seas 'cause we own our own boats

I'm on tonight, my hips don't lie
And I'm starting to feel you boy
Come on let's go, real slow
Baby, like this is perfecto

Oh, you know I am on tonight and my hips don't lie
And I am starting to feel it's right
The attraction, the tension
Baby, like this is perfection

No fighting
No fighting

Work is Soooo Boring!

Your Extroversion Profile:
Friendliness: Very High
Sociability: Very High
Assertiveness: High
Excitement Seeking: High
Activity Level: Medium
Cheerfulness: Medium

You Are Smokin' Hot

You're a terrible flirt, a sharp dresser, and a party animal.
Of course, you're totally sizzling too. And for you, being hot just comes naturally.

You Are 50% American

America: You don't love it or want to leave it.
But you wouldn't mind giving it an extreme make over.
On the 4th of July, you'll fly a freak flag instead...
And give Uncle Sam a sucker punch!

Your Power Level is: 61%

You're a very powerful person, and you know that all of your power comes from within.
Keep on doing what you're doing, and you'll reach your goals.

You Are Apple Red

You're never one to take life too seriously, and because of it, you're a ton of fun.
And although you have a great sense of humor, you are never superficial.
Deep and caring, you do like to get to the core of people - to understand them well.
However, any probing you do is light hearted and fun, sometimes causing people to misjudge you.

Thursday, April 20, 2006

Taking a Little Break! LOL

So I should really be working on my homework, but my head was about to I amused myself with some new Blogthings! LOL But now I really need to get back to work. I have to write 10 pages on 2 books that I haven't quite finished yet....and they are due tomorrow. Yikes! I'll have to update y'all on everything else when that's done.

You Are Midnight

You are more than a little eccentric, and you're apt to keep very unusual habits.
Whether you're a nightowl, living in a commune, or taking a vow of silence - you like to experiment with your lifestyle.
Expressing your individuality is important to you, and you often lie awake in bed thinking about the world and your place in it.
You enjoy staying home, but that doesn't mean you're a hermit. You also appreciate quality time with family and close friends.

You Are 44% Girly

You're a little girly, a little boyish, and probably a whole lot indie.
You have your own unique style, and it pretty much defies gender lines.

You Know You're From San Francisco When...

You take a bus and are shocked that 2 people are carrying on a
conversation in English.

Someone says TENDERLOIN - you don't think of steak.

You never bother looking at the MUNI line schedule because you know the drivers have never seen it.

A really great parking space can move you to tears.

You know that anyone wearing shorts in July must be visiting from Ohio.

You assume every company offers domestic partner benefits.

Your boss runs in "The Bay to Breakers"....and it's not the first time you have seen him/her nude.

You are thinking of taking an adult class but you can't decide between yoga, aroma therapy, conversational mandarin or a building your own web site class.

You haven't been to Fisherman's Wharf since the first month you moved to SF and you couldn't figure out how to drive to Coit Tower if your life depended on it.

You were born somewhere else.

Left is right and right is wrong.

Your monthly house payments exceed your annual income.

You dive under a desk whenever a large truck goes by.

You can't find your other earring because your son is wearing it.

Your family tree contains "significant others."

Your cat has its own psychiatrist.

Smoking in your office is not optional.

You pack shorts and a T-shirt for skiing in the snow, and a sweater and a wetsuit for the beach.

Rainstorms or thunder are the lead story for the local news.

Gas costs $1.00 per gallon more than anywhere else in the US

A man gets on the bus in full leather regalia and crotchless chaps. You don't even notice.

Your car insurance costs as much as your house payment.

You give a "thumbs up" gesture to a car with a "Free Tibet" bumper sticker - and you mean it.

When you drive under an underpass - for one moment you think "earthquake".

You realize the only Republicans you know are your Aunt and Uncle in Texas.

You realize there are far more Rainbow flags in the city than California State Flags.

You go to your office manager's baby shower - the parent's are named Judy and Becky.

When your church elects a new Bishop who abandoned his family and two young daughters to fulfill his sexual urges with another man.

You actually get these jokes and pass them on to other friends from San Francisco.

You Know You're From Montana When...

You get passed when you are driving seventy five.

The rodeo is the social event of the year.

You tell North Dakota jokes.

The pickup trucks all have two rifles and two big dogs.

People you don't know smile and say "Howdy."

Bumper stickers are about guns, horses or chewing tobacco.

The only people wearing white shirts are out of town Lawyers

Someone says manure spreader and you know it isn't the local congressman

When the car in front of you is weaving, you suspect a farmer instead of a drunk

You can actually pronounce the City's name Glasgow (Glasgo) without calling it Glascow

Maps and gloves are kept in your vehicles "jockey box"

You can choose plastic bags or a paper sacks for your groceries

You have 10 favorite recipes for Elk meat.

You can write a check at McDonald's for 2 Big Macs and fries.

The most effective mosquito repellent is a shotgun.

The major county fund-raiser isn't bingo - it's sausage making.

You attend a formal event in your best clothes, your finest jewelry, and your Sorels.

You actually get these jokes and pass them on to other friends from Montana.

Monday, April 17, 2006

Some Little Changes

So because I KNOW that all of you my faithful readers are coming daily and saying "Where are those other videos that Jen has posted?? I totally want to watch some of her other fascinating video selections!" I went through and on new music posts, I put the song title and artist in the post title. So now you can quickly and easily find all the music you want! LOL You may now return to your regularly schedule blog perusal!

New Music! (Right Here - Staind)

I know I've been mistaken
But just give me a break and see the changes that I've made
I've got some imperfections
But how can you collect them all and throw them in my face

But you always find a way to keep me right here waiting
You always find the words to say to keep me right here waiting
And if you chose to walk away I'd still be right here waiting
Searching for the things to say to keep you right here waiting

I hope you're not intending
To be so condescending it's as much as i can take
and you're so independent
you just refuse to bend so I keep bending till I break

But you always find a way to keep me right here waiting
You always find the words to say to keep me right here waiting
And if you chose to walk away I'd still be right here waiting
Searching for the things to say to keep you right here waiting

I've made a commitment
I'm willing to bleed for you
I needed fulfillment
I found what I need in you

Why can't you just forgive me
I don't want to relive all the mistakes I've made along the way
But I always find a way to keep you right here waiting
I always find the words to say to keep you right here waiting

But you always find a way
To keep me right here waiting
You always find the words to say to keep me right here waiting
And if I chose to walk away would you be right here waiting
Searching for the things to say to keep me right here waiting

Sunday, April 16, 2006

Happy Easter

You Are a Blue Flower

A blue flower tends to represent peace, openness, and balance.
At times, you are very delicate like a cornflower.
And at other times, you are wise like an iris.
And more than you wish, you're a little cold, like a blue hydrangea.

You Are A Good Friend

You're always willing to listen
Or lend a shoulder to cry on
You're there through thick and thin
Many people consider you their "best friend"!

Sunday, April 09, 2006

At What Point Would You Sell Out?

Yesterday I got a very surprising phone call, and it's made me think...a lot. At what point would you sell out? Where's the breaking point within your heart that will make you turn your back on the people and things that you hold dear? I'm beginning to think that I'm alone in having a very high breaking point...especially when it comes to those people and things that are the closest to my heart.

There are little inconsequential things that I'll give up no sweat. You want my last cigarette? Fine. Take it. I don't really need it; I don't smoke because I have to. You need the last dollar out of my pocket? Go ahead. It's yours. I can always make more. You want me to give up my fiance/my son/my best friend? Try me. There isn't enough money in all the world to make me turn my back on them. Literally, all the nations in the world could come together and offer me all the money they have in the national coffers and I would turn it down. Money couldn't replace what I would have lost.

People always tell me that with money I can buy friends. And they are right...with money comes friends. But what kind of friends are they going to be? Will they still be there when the money is gone? When I am spiraling out of control into the abyss of depression, are they going to reach in and pull me out? Or will they move on to the next sucker with money? I don't want friends that disappear at the first sign of trouble. Those aren't friends. I wouldn't even call those acquaintances. Like take my best friend Tyson for instance. He doesn't care if I have money or not. I can call him up and say "I'm really depressed today and I'm thinking some really dark thoughts." And you know what he'll say? "Come over - you shouldn't be alone right now." He doesn't run away. He doesn't flinch. He understands. And he knows that we can get through the darkness if we stick together. It's one of the greatest things about our friendship. We can say the things that you would have to keep inside with most people. I can tell him that I'm thinking about cutting myself and not worry that he's going to hang up on me or that the police are going to knock on my door for a "welfare check".

So that brings me back to my surprise phone call. There's this girl that I was pretty tight with all throughout my childhood. I guess you could say we were best friends. From 1st grade all the way until our sophomore year in high school. Then she turned 16. Her parents bought her a brand new car. Then a few months later, they decided that I was a bad influence on their daughter. My friend had gotten in with the "fast crowd" and began smoking, drinking, and just being rebellious in general. I was too busy with all my extra-cirriculars to be a part of all that, but her parents (who I might add were like a second set of parents to me) didn't bother to see that. I was SO obviously the reason that their daughter was doing all this. So they told her that she couldn't hang out with me anymore - or they would take the car back. And you know what she did? She chose the car. She didn't even try to set her parents straight on me. She never stood up for me and tell her parents that I wasn't involved. She threw away 9 years of friendship over a car. She sold me out. Whenever I saw her around school she wouldn't even look at me anymore. Then at Grad Night, I ran into her in the bathroom. She told me that she had gotten an apartment and that I should come over sometime. So I said sure. I missed our friendship after all, and I figured now we were both (almost) adults and we could be friends again.

Wrong. The first time I went to her apartment her parents came over. The look on their face when they walked in the door and saw me standing there was brilliant. It was like I was a serial killer with the ebola virus. They just looked at my friend and walked out the door. After I left, my friend called me. She told me not to call or come by anymore. And do you know why? Her parents held the car over her head again...and her new apartment, too. See, they were making the payments on the car, and they were paying the rent and utilities on the apartment too. So she sold me out again. All so she could live almost completely free. She worked part time to make gas & fun money, but the car, insurance, rent, utilites, and food were all paid for by Mommy & Daddy. And that to her was worth more than a 9 year friendship. I told myself I was over it. Over her. And I moved on.

So all of a sudden I get a phone call from her yesterday. She got my phone number from a mutual friend. She's engaged now to some rich guy. She lives with him and he bought her a new car, so now she's not beholden to Mommy & Daddy anymore. Maybe the next time I'm in California I'd like to come visit her? Would I like to be in the wedding? Ummm, NO and NO. Mind you, I haven't seen or heard from this girl in nearly 8 YEARS. I decided to let her have it. Tell her exactly what I was thinking. I told her how it devastated me that she threw away our friendship over a car. How it hurt me that she didn't even try to stand up for me to her parents. How cruel it was to then throw our friendship away a second time. How I've moved on without her. I told her that's not how a friendship works. You don't throw something on the ground and 8 years later expect it to be where you dropped it. What if her husband decided I wasn't good enough to be her friend a few years down the road? What would she do then? I didn't want to find out. I wasn't going to allow myself to be hurt by her ever again. I told her real friends stick by each other. I told her about Tyson. Told her THAT'S a real friend.

Then I thanked her.

Why you ask? Because it took that phone call to make me realize that I really WAS over her. Over wondering about our friendship. I realized that I didn't want to hear from her anymore. I could stop wondering what ever became of her because now I knew - money was the most important thing in her life now, just as it was then. For 8 years, in the back of my mind I had always wondered if I really was over her, or if I was just telling myself that. Now I knew. So I told her thank you, but don't ever call me again. I don't need it - I don't need you. And it was her turn to hurt.

Does that make me happy? Maybe on a subconscious level, yeah. I didn't set out to hurt her, but if I did, I'm not going to lose any sleep over it. What happened with her made me distrust people who wanted to be my friend. I put up walls to keep people from getting too close to me. Any friends I made after that first betrayal 10 years ago were kept outside the wall. I didn't let anyone in. A couple people I started to trust enough, and they were let in the door. But they still weren't all the way inside. It's kind of like this: I put up the wall, then inside the wall I built a moat, and I kept myself protected on the other side of the moat in my own little castle. So now I had a couple of people inside the wall, but they couldn't get across the moat. I found a wonderful guy who became my wonderful boyfriend (and is now my wonderful fiance), and I let him come over the moat. But I've always kept him outside of the castle. It's too dark and too dismal of a place for him. He deserves better than that. So I have to come out of the castle to see him. I can't let him in.

It wasn't until 4 years ago that anyone made it inside the castle. Tyson didn't take no for an answer. Walls, moats, and castles be damned. I was surprised one day to be sitting alone in my castle, ready to be done with all the darkness, when there he was. He had broke through it all and told me that I could make it. That it was okay to let him into my castle because he knew what it was like - that he had a castle, too. I didn't know what to say. In all the years that I had been in my castle with people outside...they never knew they were outside of anything. Tyson was the first to see that. First to see that I was not okay inside my castle. First to say that I wasn't alone. First to make me feel like one day I could come out of my castle for good.

Do I still have a castle? Yes. Does he? Yes. But we're trying - always trying to come outside and lock that door behind us forever. Until that day comes, though, we support each other. When one of us retreats into our castle, the other comes to find us. We don't let each other stay in there too long. I can't thank him enough for all that he's done for me. For the light that he's shown me. All the hope and inspiration he's given me. Tyson truly is my best friend. He cares. He understands. He "gets it". He's seen the darkness I keep inside, but still he stays.

And he didn't sell me out.

The Obligatory Blogthings for the Week :oP

You Are an Excellent Cook

You're a top cook, but you weren't born that way. It's taken a lot of practice, a lot of experimenting, and a lot of learning.
It's likely that you have what it takes to be a top chef, should you have the desire...

Your Theme Song is Oops I Did It Again by Britney Spears

"It might seem like a crush
But it doesn't mean that I'm serious"

Heartbreaker, superflirt, player... you've been called all of those.
You're not that innocent, and you know that you have a super sexy vibe!

People Envy Your Inner Peace

You understand your place in the world and accept life as it is. For you, "it's all good."
People envy how grounded and level headed you are. But you're too at peace to even notice.

You are a Playful Date

Your dating philosophy?
"Fun first, romance later"
You rather scream on a roller coaster...
Then stare in to some guy's eyes over dinner.

Guys to look for:
Men with humorous profiles and quirky interests
Sure that business suit guy may look boring...
But if he likes snowball fights, give him a try

Tuesday, April 04, 2006