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I'm a 32 year old mother of 2 fantastic little boys, ages 5 and 10. I'm a retail lackey who dreams of running away to San Francisco where I'll live on my trust fund and take photographs of the city all day.

Currently Reading

  • Middlesex by Jeffrey Eugenides

Movies You Should Check Out

  • Little Miss Sunshine
  • The Good Shepherd

Rocking My iPod This Week

  • Eminem
  • Hinder
  • The Fray

Categorically Speaking...

Wednesday, July 05, 2006

An Open Letter, Part 3/Goodbye

I'm sorry. I'm sorry that neither of us are big enough people to deal with this: I'm not big enough to get past my hurt, you're not big enough to deal with it head on. So I'm retreating into my castle now. The one you brought me out of and said I shouldn't hide. You taught me to trust and allow myself to be vulnerable, and it's left me broken inside. Maybe one day I'll be able to come out again. Maybe one day I'll be able to trust again. It's not that I'm letting you go: it's that I'm just trusting you enough to come back to me.

Love always,

PS - This song is for you, too, in case you couldn't tell. Ironic it would come out now, eh? I hope it punches you in the stomach like it did to me.


JAC said...


{{{{{HUGS}}}} I'm sorry that you and Hunter are having to deal with this. You are a wonderful writer and I really "feel" what you write about - thank you for sharing such heart ache and I hope/pray that you will at least get answers ....

Cami said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Cami said...

sweet Jen, I cannot even begin to know "your" pain, I know that is yours. No one hurts like YOU but just remember, KNOW ONE LOVES LIKE YOU, also.
Life is unfair and cruel sometimes & I wish it wasn't not only for myself but I hate to see my family and friends hurting. The best we can do, is do the best we can. sucky cliche, I know, but I think it fits. you will never know what's in Tysons head until he tells you & that sucks. I wouldn't wish that on anyone I love & I'm sorry you have to go thru this. I wish I knew all the right things to say and how to take it away for you.
I do know, that you have some pretty special people in your life that think you are totally wonderful.
In the meantime, I am here for you. I will pray you find healing for you heart & solace in your own self worth.
I hope you know I do care about you. {hugs} Cami