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I'm a 32 year old mother of 2 fantastic little boys, ages 5 and 10. I'm a retail lackey who dreams of running away to San Francisco where I'll live on my trust fund and take photographs of the city all day.

Currently Reading

  • Middlesex by Jeffrey Eugenides

Movies You Should Check Out

  • Little Miss Sunshine
  • The Good Shepherd

Rocking My iPod This Week

  • Eminem
  • Hinder
  • The Fray

Categorically Speaking...

Wednesday, March 29, 2006

Just Who DO I Think I Am?

Today while debating in my class, my "opponent's" big death knell closing to my remarks was, "Well, just who do you think you are?" Great rebuttal, right? It actually got me thinking, though. Who exactly am I anyways? I post all these Blogthings and other little quizzes with info about me, but who am I underneath all the superficial? I don't exactly fit a cookie cutter definition of anything. I'm going to try, though, to lay myself out there on the pyre of self-examination and see what comes out of the smoke.

I'm a Cancer.

I may forget, but I will never forgive.

I am loyal to a fault.

I will fight anyone who threatens me - or my friends.

I have never once in nearly 26 years looked into the mirror and found someone other than a fat, ugly girl who doesn't quite fit in.

I can count many friends, but can fit the friends that I would give my life for (and theirs for me) on one solitary finger.

I could care less what other people think of me, yet I am panifully self-conscious.

I am completely ADD, but I am infinitely patient.

If I love you, I love you with all my being.

If I hate you, you will probably want to check into the witness protection program.

I find solace behind a camera lens.

I can debate U.S. foreign policy and the contribution of the hair band in American music history with equal intelligence and passion.

I am hypocritical.

If I say that I am fine, chances are pretty good that I am not.

I measure my happiness through the happiness of others.

My best friend is the only person in the whole world that totally gets me, and he is my compass.

Silence scares me, yet I can sit with Tyson, neither of us saying a word and feel okay.

There are only two people in the world that understand the profound meaning of the statement, "I need a flare gun...and some flares."

I can rock out to Marilyn Manson or the Backstreet Boys with equal excitement.

I love school, but can't stay motivated to go.

I feel stifled in my self-expression by society's definition of "acceptable".

I have no regrets, but often wonder "What if...?"

The hardest decision I have ever made was to betray my best friend to save his life and knowing, fearing he might hate me for it.

I would make that same decision 1,000 times over because I selfishly would rather he be alive with me than dead without me.

I try to be a mirror that reflects people's true selves back to them, but I refuse to see myself when the tables are turned.

I'm a sucker for MTV reality shows.

I read Anna Karenina when I was 8, yet I've never read The Chronicles of Narnia.

I can quote from Shakespeare and Spongebob with equal ease.

I can drink most everyone I know under the table, yet I've never had a hangover.

I'll feel utterly naked and exposed the minute I publish this post.

I can count the number of times I have felt truly happy on one hand.

I love to dance, but am usually to self-conscious to enjoy myself.

Only one person has ever made me think I might be likable underneath all my neuroses.

I am deeply spiritual, but not even remotely religious.

I am creative, but too self-critical to enjoy the finished products of my work.

I both fear and revel in my instability.

I am a walking contridiction.

I don't care what you think about this post (or me), but I secretly hope you'll tell me anyways.

2 comments:

Anonymous said...

your a fucking ass...

you know none of these things are true...

your a fucking fantastic person... so stop being so insefuckincure and get a grip and stop being odd

Michelle said...

I think it was wonderfully honest! It was a great post and I did giggle about if "I hate you you should check into the Witness protection program".. priceless...Exposing ourselves like this feels like walking a tightrope over a highway.. lets hope we don't fall off and get run over. I felt that way over my last 3 blog posts myself..